Last year, a friend gave me two delightfully girly gifts. Nail polish for one. As a present from one mature gal to another, I
did not miss the irony of the name of the shade. Forever
Yummy! It is shocking fuchsia
red. I could be wrong about the
colour. (Remember the blog, My Cones are
not Write, from March 19th?)
The other gift was a thick little notebook. A glossy metallic pink cover adorned with a
huge heart-shaped stone surrounded by itsy little stones. Let’s call them diamonds. The edges of the paper are shiny silver. With the book closed and the pink chiffon
ribbons tied in a bow, everything shimmers.
I stroked the iridescent cover and the multi-faceted stone. Then I set the book aside. Unsure.
Journals have been a part of my life for as long as I can
remember. Each time I finished a book, I
would tuck it away before beginning another.
Not always in the same place.
Could be a dresser drawer, a shelf in the closet, or the great old
leather trunk. Periodically, I would
come across a journal that could be months or years old. Of course, I would always take a moment
–sometimes hours−to scan through the pages.
Not all the memories were good.
Actually, a few years ago I destroyed many of my journals. Memories I didn’t want to come across again. Before shredding them, I dutifully recorded
the entries about my son from the time he was a baby right into his late
teens. Some happenings I barely
remembered, and others I would never forget.
I passed those excerpts along to him for his amusement.
Often when skimming the blue lined pages of long-ago, the individual in
the journal seemed like a stranger. I
wondered how many transitions the average person realizes in a lifetime. My schedule was frenzied for so many years
that it made me breathless reading about it.
Was that really me? Honestly, if
I had to do those things today, my heart would be hammering.
I like to think that everything we experience in our lifetime is part
of this great plan. Everything we learn
we will use; if not now, then thirty years from now.
Did my journey as a writer begin with my diaries all those years
ago? Was it self-preservation or merely
self-expression? Then, of course,
writing is self-expression. Even fiction
writers reveal more of themselves than they realize. Ooh, when I think of the horrid circumstances
in the book I am working on now, I shudder to suppose what part of me I am
revealing.
Bearing in mind the writings from my years of journaling, I decided to
record only happy thoughts in my luxurious new diary. Very wise!
Now when I skim through the book, each page brings back beautiful
thoughts and memories. There are a lot
of exclamation marks, celebrations and hearts, the names of dear friends, x’s
and o’s, and accomplishments, however small.
Some days I jot down a single word or phrase that gives me a feel-good
glow: the smell of lemons, fresh laundry, Sophie’s hair. The feel of soft towels, a child’s arms
around my neck, a visit with a friend. The
sound of Tiki’s purr, Sadie’s laugh, and whispers in the night.
If you don’t have an inspirational journal, think of starting one. It’s guaranteed to lighten a disheartened
mood, ease a nagging headache, and bring serenity and gratification to the
reader.
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